When you’re feeling nervous or angry, strategies to getting through include deep breathing and releasing emotional energy to restore control and tranquillity.
Do you feel anxious or upset, for any reason, at any time, like all people? It’s natural to be human. But what if that worry or anger reaches a tipping point, and you simply can’t relax? So just learning how to soothe yourself in those high-octane moments can be much harder than it seems.
That’s why having a toolkit of effective calming strategies at your disposal is so useful. These 22 tried-and-tested tips can be your go-to when emotions get the better of you.
Tips to calm down
1. Breathe Deeply and Mindfully
Breathe Deeply and Mindfully
One of the simplest, most basic, and most effective ways to calm down is deep breathing. When we are anxious or stressed, our breath becomes fast and shallow, which can make those feelings even worse. When you breathe deliberately, you activate the parasympathetic nervous system which tells your body that it’s safe to relax.
How to practice deep breathing:
- 1,2,3,4) Take a long slow breath in through your nose.
- Hold your breath for 4 counts
- Breathe out for six counts through your mouth
- Repeat this cycle 5-10 times
One approach is especially effective, the 4-7-8 breath: 4 to inhale, 7 to hold, 8 to exhale. This rhythm has the effect of slowing your heart rate and encourages relaxation. Another great tool is box breathing (4-4-4-4) which was developed for Navy SEALS and first responders designed to elicit a response in the relaxation response.
2. Admit That You’re Anxious or Angry
Being aware of your emotions is also key to controlling them effectively. Many people attempt to override or repress their feelings, which usually makes them more intense. You take the first step toward regaining your power by acknowledging your emotions, honestly identifying them and giving them a name.
Silently repeat phrases to yourself: “I notice I’m feeling anxious right now” or “I’m feeling angry about this situation.” Witnessing something so simple can be transformative. Studies have found that labeling your emotions decreases their power by involving your prefrontal cortex, the region of the brain that modulates conscious thoughts.
Don’t beat yourself up for feeling this way — they’re normal human reactions. Just be kinder to yourself and realise your emotional state is temporary and it will change.
3. Challenge Your Thoughts
Our feelings are frequently exacerbated by our thinking or cognitive distortions. Allow yourself to feel upset Instead of asking yourself, tantrums no more!
- Is this thought realistic?
- What do I know that supports and undermines this thought?
- What would I advise a friend in this situation?
- In five years will it even matter?
Cognitive distortions that are prevalent include catastrophizing (thinking of the worst possible scenario), all-or-nothing thinking and personalizing (believing it’s all your fault). If you can spot these patterns dispassionately and fight against them, that will help reduce their painfulness.
4. Reframe Your Thinking
Reframing is the practice of looking at a situation in a new way. Instead of thinking of a stressful situation as a threat, consider it a challenge or a platform for growth. Your feelings can be transformed by a change of outlook like this.
Instead of, “I can’t stomach this presentation,” think, “This presentation represents an opportunity for me to expound on my expertise. Instead of “Everything is going wrong,” think “I’m having some hurdles that I can approach one step at a time.”
By reframing, I don’t mean that we should ignore real problems or pretend that everything is hunky-dory. It’s about coming up with a more balanced and constructive way of seeing your situation.
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5. Release the Anxiety or Anger
Physical release can do wonders for strong emotions. When you are anxious or angry, your body is awash in stress hormones that create physical tension. Discovering healthy ways of releasing this energy serves as a reset button for your emotional state.
Physical release techniques:
- Progressive muscle relaxation: tightening each muscle and then relaxing it
- Shrug it all out – hands, arms, entire body.
- Jump around, do jumping jacks or anything else which is easy but fast.
- Hit a pillow, or yell into one
- Hit the shower (hot, cold or both)
The goal is to discover what works best for you, and to employ the techniques before your emotions are getting the best of you.
6. Visualize Yourself Calm
Visualising is a powerful mental tool that can assist you in moving into the state that you are imagining. But after 9/11, the number of victims in a plane crashing came to haunt me and I would shut my eyes and visualize a serene, safe setting. This could be a beach, a forest, a warm room – whenever you feel most relaxed.
Use all your senses as you imagine:
- What do you see? (colors, lighting, objects)
- What do you hear? (waves, birds, silence)
- What do you smell? (ocean air, pine tree / fresh laundry)
- What do you feel? (warm sun, cool breeze, soft textures)
Be in that mental space for 3-5 minutes, taking deep breaths in, becoming present to the experience of calm, and breathing out. And gradually you will be able to get into this peaceful state faster and whenever you want it.
7. Think It Through
We all know that emotions have a way of muddling our thinking. Listening to your own thoughts and processing the situation carefully can give you an opportunity to get a little distance and calm down. Ask yourself:
- What specifically is bothering me?
- What are the parts of this situation over which I have control?
- How do I respond to my accuser:?
- What would be the best thing to do?.
When it comes to realizing your dreams, the simple act of writing down your thoughts can amplify the results. Putting your concerns on paper can help you realize that they’re more manageable than they seemed in your head.
8. Change Your Focus
Refocusing temporarily on something else can be the best way to relax. This isn’t an exercise in ducking problems but in creating some space to address problems from a place of greater calm.
Effective focus-shifting activities:
- Start counting from 100 to 7.
- List 5 things you see, 4 you can feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste.
- Rhyme a verse, song lyrics, or prayer
- Look very hard at an object in the room and describe it really well.
- Solve a puzzle, do a crossword, or some other intellectual activity
The idea is to occupy your mind with something that is neutral and absorbing, to allow your emotional system to reset.
9. Have a Centering Object
A centering object is a tangible object which forces you to be in the present moment. It could be a smooth pebble, a piece of jewelry, a photograph, or anything else small that is meaningful to you.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, hold your centering object and concentrate on your sensation of it’s physical presence – its weight, texture, temperature. The tactile experience can be grounding and bring comfort during tough times.
For some people, having a centering object makes them feel more in control, while others see it as a reliable tool they can bring anywhere. Select something that means a lot to you and is small enough to travel with yourself.
10. Relax Your Body
Whenever there is stress or pressure (emotional), there is tension (physical) and they always make each other worse (Cycle of stress = Mental (stress) – Physical (tension) – Mental (more stress). We can break this vicious cycle by consciously minimizing our physical undulations, and emotionally we feel the difference.
Body relaxation techniques:
- Scan your body from top to bottom, actively relaxing each part
- Rub your temples, neck, shoulders
- GENTLE STRETCH >> Stretch, especially your neck and shoulders
- Do specific yoga postures such as child’s pose or legs up the wall
- Take a warm bath or shower
Go over any areas of the body you know you hold tension in, like your jaw, shoulders, or stomach. And a couple minutes of intense relaxation can make a lot of difference.
11. Drop Your Shoulders
This technique is surprisingly simple and effective. When we’re stressed or anxious or even meditating, we have the tendency to hike our shoulders up toward our ears ever so slightly and hold them there, which produces tension in the neck and upper back. Consciously lowering your shoulders transmits a signal to your nervous system that it’s safe to let go.
To practice this:
- Inhale, and raise your shoulders up to your ears
- Hold for 2-3 seconds
- Now, on an exhale, lower your shoulders down and back
- Repeat 3-5 times
It can be done anytime and anywhere, and usually offers instant relief from physical stress.
12. Identify Pressure Points to Calm Anger and Anxiety
You can use acupressure points to stimulate your body’s relaxation response. It’s not necessary to be a master of traditional Chinese medicine to get value from these techniques, though a list of specific pressure points can be handy.
Effective pressure points:
- The meaty part of the skin between your thumb and forefinger
- The center of your palm
- The point between your eyebrows
- The back of the bottom of your skull where it meets your neck.
- The inside of your wrists
Don’t press too hard, just as hard as you are comfortable, and put sustained pressure for 30 to 60 seconds while taking deep breaths. These are believed to be used to balance the nervous system, and help promote relaxation.
How to Calm Down in 5 Minutes
And every now and then you need a quick fix when there’s no time to spare. These methods are meant to help you calm down quickly when you find yourself dealing with sources of immediate stress.
13. Get Some Fresh Air
A good dose of fresh air and change of scenery can do wonders for the mind. If you can, even just for a few minutes, step outside. The fresh air, natural light and physical movement can serve as a reset to your nervous system.
If you can’t go outside, try to open a window and or get on a balcony. Changing to a different room can even simply help break the grip of stress and allow you to see things from a new perspective.
Some of the advantages of fresh air include the following:
- Higher oxygen levels, which may help the brain function
- Natural light, which aids in balancing your mood
- There’s also the change of scenery, the potential to adopt a soundtrack that alters your mind space.
- An occasion for light physical exercise, such as walking
14. Fuel Your Body
When we are stressed, our blood sugar can crash, enough to make us even more anxious or cranky. A dose of something nourishing can help stabilize your blood sugar and give your brain the power it needs to work at its best.
Some good options for rapid stress relief:
- A handful of nuts or seeds
- Fruit + protein (think apple slices with almond butter)
- Greek yogurt
- A small square of dark chocolate
- Herbal tea with honey
Stay away from sugary snacks and caffeine, which can lead to energy spikes and crashes that can exacerbate anxiety. Instead, select food that provides constant energy and has nutrients that help your brain to work.
15. Chew Gum
It can be as easy as chewing gum, which can alleviate stress and enhance focus. Chewing something can be a soothing repetitive activity (along the same lines as fidgeting and tapping).
Studies suggest that chewing gum can help:
- Lower levels of cortisol (the stress hormone)
- Improve alertness and concentration
- It offers physical stimulation and mild relief from stress at the same time.
- Improve your breath, and with more confidence
Pick sugarless gum with a taste that you like, mint or cinnamon. Chewing for a few minutes can take the edge off stress and anxiety.
16. Listen to Music
Music has a strong influence on our emotional state and has great potential to regulate our mood. There are different types of music that can help different ways:
Relaxing music (classical, ambient, nature sounds) can decrease heart rate and stress hormones. And if it’s easier for you to greet the morning with upbeat tunes, music can add energy and lighten mood. Known music can be a source of comfort and an emotional connection.
Make yourself a playlist of songs that never fail to lift your mood, and listen to them whenever you’re in need of a quick emotional boost. Even 3-5 minutes of listening to music you love can change your mood and make you feel more grounded.
17. Dance It Out
Moving your body is one of the best methods for letting go of stress and shift your emotional state. Dance is a form of exercise that incorporates music, which is said to offer a double wallop to stress because it is greatly effective for relaxation.
It doesn’t matter how bad a dancer you are, or if there’s no one to watch: Play a song that you love, and move your body much as feels comfortable and even a bit stretchy. This can help:
- Release physical tension
- Boost endorphins (feel-good chemicals)
- Focus elsewhere on what is stressful
- Provide a fun, energizing break
- Even 2-3 minutes of dancing can really lift your mood and make you feel more energetic!
18. Watch Funny Videos
Laughter is medicine for stress, after all. When we laugh, our body releases endorphins and decreases stress-response hormones, such as cortisol. Watching funny videos can be a quick way to reduce anxiety and also change your vantage point.
Save some funny videos, comedy clips or memes that always get you in a good mood. Just a couple minutes of real laughter can reset your mood and remind you that not everything in life is so serious.
The benefits of laughter include:
- Immediate mood improvement
- Reduced stress hormones
- Relaxation of physical tension
- Improved immune function
- Better perspective on problems
19. Write It Down
Simply expressing your thoughts and emotions through writing is sometimes enough to give you relief. This practice, commonly referred to as “brain dumping,” is a good way to get your worries out of your head and onto paper, where they seem more manageable.
How writing can become a stress relief tool:
- Write for 5 minutes straight without backspacing or stopping
- List everything that’s bothering you
- Write down what you’re grateful for
- Describe the situation as an observer fleeing from an outside perspective
- Write a letter to yourself that is encouraging or provides advice
And don’t be concerned with grammar, spelling, or what you write being great — this is just for you. (Put feelings into words and you may find they lose their power over you.)
20. Squeeze a Stress Ball
The action of squeezing and releasing can alleviate tension and offer a great outlet for stress. The best thing: stress balls are cheap, they’re small enough to fit in a pocket, and can be brought just about anywhere.
If you don’t own a stress ball, you can try:
- A tennis ball
- A rolled-up towel
- Your own hands(fist anad release)
- A pillow or cushion
The idea is the rhythmic squeezing and letting go can help release physical tension and give you something to hone your focus on.
21. Try Aromatherapy
There are some scents which can instantly calm the nervous system. Aromatherapy literally works though the sweat glands and olfactory system, which is linked directly to the brain areas that deal with emotion.
Calming scents include:
- Lavender (most researched for relaxation)
- Chamomile (soothing and gentle)
- Bergamot (uplifting and calming)
- Ylang-ylang (reduces stress and anxiety)
- Sandalwood (grounding and peaceful)
You can also employ essential oils, scented candles, or sniff something naturally fragrant like fresh flowers or herbs. CBDFX It has a small bottle of essential oil with you for rapid stress relief.
22. Find Social Support
The best way to calm down might be to reach out to someone who cares about you. Mental well-being and stress need social support. That does not necessarily mean talking about your problems — some you might keep to yourself — but it is hard to beat the companionship of being with people you love.
How to get immediate social support:
- Phone a friend or family member
- Text a person you have confidence in
- Join a virtual support group, blog or social media community
- Hang out with co-workers or neighbors
- Even petting a friend’s gentle dog in a dog park can be a source of social comfort
If you’re not ready to share what’s troubling you, that’s okay. One of the best reliefs (if not THE best) is sometimes simply talking to someone and knowing that you are not alone.
23. Spend Time with a Pet
Pets provide unconditional love and can be incredibly soothing during stressful times. Interacting with animals has been shown to lower blood pressure, reduce cortisol levels, and increase oxytocin (the “bonding” hormone).
Benefits of pet interaction:
- Petting an animal can lower stress hormones
- Pets provide comfort without judgment
- They can distract you from worries
- Playing with pets can be energizing and fun
- Pets live in the moment, which can help you do the same
If you don’t have a pet, consider visiting a friend who does, volunteering at an animal shelter, or even watching videos of cute animals (which can also provide stress relief).
Conclusion
Learning to calm yourself down is a skill that improves with practice. The 22 techniques outlined in this guide provide you with a comprehensive toolkit for managing stress, anxiety, and anger in healthy ways. Remember that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes, and having these strategies available can help you navigate life’s challenges with greater ease and resilience.
Start by trying a few techniques that appeal to you, and gradually build your skills over time. With consistent practice, you’ll find that you can calm yourself down more quickly and effectively, leading to better emotional regulation and improved overall well-being.
The key is to be patient with yourself as you learn these new skills. Some techniques may feel awkward at first, but with practice, they’ll become more natural and effective. Your future self will thank you for taking the time to develop these important life skills.
